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  • Net-Jam News Network

    Reporting what's important, not necessarily true!
    Quesadios
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    Quesadios
    GRYPHUS_1 IS A FUCKING FURRY, AND I AM SENDING HIM SOME CARDS IN THE MAIL.
     
    UPDATE: AFTER INTERVIEWING THE ALLEGED FURRY, GRYPHUS_1 REFUTES ALL CHARGES, WHILE WEARING A FURSUIT. HIS FURSONA IS A YELLOW LAB.
     
    MORE TO FOLLOW, STAY TUNED.
    Quesadios
    SEE: THE MIGHT AND MAGIC OF FLORIDA, THE STEALTH AND SKILL OF WASHINGTON, AND THE CUNNING INTELLECT OF THE MARIANA ISLANDS, VERSUS SOME DUDE FROM MALYASIA.
     
    HEAR: THE SCREECHS AND TOOTS OF AN ANCIENT WAR HORN, A FAMILY HEIRLOOM, STOLEN BY SOME SHITPOSTER.
     
    FEEL: THE BUTTHURT FLOWING FROM SOMEONE WHO IS GOOD AT SOMETHING, WHATEVER THAT IS.
     
    ONLY ON NET-JAM PAY-PER-VIEW, TONIGHT/THIS MORNING.
     
    BE THERE.
    Quesadios

    12/12/2016 NEWS

    By Quesadios, in Net-Jam News Network,

    UPDATE ON SOME SAD, DIFFICULT NEWS:
     
    A MEMBER OF NET-JAM WAS INVOLVED IN A SPACECRAFT ACCIDENT. HIS SHIP, THE SPACE SHUTTLE COLUMBIA, WAS DAMAGED DURING LIFT-OFF BY ANOTHER POORLY-PILOTED SHIP. THE MEMBER, "FUCKER", WAS PETITIONED AND INQUIRIED REGARDING HIS HEALTH. HE SUFFERED A MINOR O-RING BLOWOUT. HE HAS SUMMONED THE INSURANCE COMPANIES, WHICH HAVE PROVED CHALLENGING AT BEST.
    WE WISH "FUCKER" A SPEEDY (LIKE AT A STOPLIGHT BEFORE GETTING T-BONED, HUH HUH?) RECOVERY.
     
    THIS IS NET-JAM NEWS.
     
    EDITOR'S NOTE: THIS STORY WAS BEAMED TO US VIA SATELITE BY A FAT, FLOATING RETARD SOMEWHERE BEYOND THIS SYSTEM'S VISUAL HORIZINE. IT HAD TO BE TRANSLATED, BY HUMPBACK WHALE, OR THIS ENTIRE STORY WOULD HAVE READ AS FOLLOWS: "HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, HMMMMMMMMMMMMMM, CRKCRKCRKCRKCRK, HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM CHALLENGER HNMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM".
    Quesadios

    THIS. JUST. IN.

    By Quesadios, in Net-Jam News Network,

    Today, something occured. Something that would make any good human feel terrible Rommeling in their deepest Himmlers. Something that made me rise from Mein Kampfy chair in disgust. Something that Net-Jam did Nazi coming. An admin who will go unnamed, lest I am taken to a camp for concentrating on not naming and shaming agents of the Gestapo, banned a native of Nogales, French Mexico, for calling him Hitler. It was Hitlarious, get over it.
     
    THIS IS NET-JAM NEWS.
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